


Tallahassee

by RogerMexico



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-06-08
Updated: 2011-08-02
Packaged: 2017-10-20 06:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/209572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogerMexico/pseuds/RogerMexico
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've been flying by the seats of their pants for almost seven years now, and he can feel the denim starting to give.</p><p>Based on the album "Tallahassee" by the Mountain Goats.</p><p>(Rated "T" for copious swears)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tallahassee

**Author's Note:**

> "Tallahassee" is one of my favorite albums, and I was struck with the irresistible urge to write this at something like 5 o'clock in the morning so here it is.
> 
> There are links to the relevant song at the start of each chapter, if you are interested in listening to it while you read. I wrote each chapter while listening to its song, so I feel it adds another dimension to the work. [/pretentious]

The road this far can't be retraced  
There is no punch line anybody can tack on  
There are loose ends by the score  
What did I come down here for?  
You   
  
["Tallahassee", the Mountain Goats](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ1W6U0FmrQ)   


He thinks it might be time to settle down.

He tells her this as they lay on the still-cooling hood of his (ironic) Winnebago, staring up at the stars, parked in a field somewhere slightly south of the second 'N' in Tennessee.

"Really? I thought that blazing across the country in a mobile home was the coolkid way!"

"Shit, Tz, we're getting too old for this. We keep this up and we're going to go flying right off the top of the fucking proverbial hill like an ironic Thelma and Louise, heads hanging out the windows of the Winnie as we plunge to our deaths. A single tire will roll free of the wreckage, and Egbert will get all our stuff."

"Oh no, anything but that! The thought of my chalk collection going to John is far too much to bear!"

"It would truly be the greatest goddamn tragedy of our time. With so much cool suddenly missing from the world, sea levels would rise overnight. We wouldn't want that to happen, would we?"

What he doesn't tell her is that he's afraid. They've been flying by the seats of their pants for almost seven years now, and he can feel the denim starting to give. They've been driving around the country in this shitty goddamn RV since they graduated high school, and now he's twenty-five and she's still _pulling_ and he doesn't know if he can keep up anymore.

She senses that something's wrong, somehow, because when she turns to face him her face has a slight cast of worry.

"Okay, Dave. We'll give it a try." Then she smiles. "We wouldn't want to cause the next flood. I don't think Karkat can swim!"

He laughs at that. "We will be the coolest fucking homeowners in the entire goddamn country. We will paint our house cherry red and have tasteless lawn decorations. Within three months the rest of the neighborhood will have died of envy."

"Oooh Mr. Coolkid," she cackles. "You sure know how to make a girl swoon! And who shall we grace with our presence?"

Dave hops down, pulls a map out of the glove box, and flops it open on the hood. Then he helps Terezi to the ground, pulls her close, and together they spin under the stars, dancing through the long grass until Dave brings their clasped hands down onto the crinkling paper of the map.

He pulls his sunglasses down slightly so he can make out the name under their fingers.

"Terezi, my razor-mawed wondergirl, we're going to Tallahassee."


	2. First Few Desperate Hours

And we try to keep our sprits high  
But they flag and they wane  
When the truck pulls up out front  
In the light spring rain   
["First Few Desperate Hours", the Mountain Goats](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lcbsBFthX8&feature=related)

The next day they're barrelling down I-75 on their way through Georgia with the radio blasting and Terezi hanging her head out the window like a golden retriever.

"I've never been to Florida before, Dave!"

"That's because it's one of the only states where the wildlife has more teeth than you do, babe. Shit, who am I kidding, you'll love the alligators. They're like fucking wingless dragons or some shit."

Her delighted cackle fills the cab, and he grins as he kicks the speedometer up past 75. The dishes in the cupboards start to rattle and he doesn't give a shit.

A few hours later they've made the interchange to I-10 and his high spirits are starting to flag. He doesn't show it, of course--coolkids never get worried, but if they did, he'd be worried about how he has no fucking idea how to do this.

He grew up in a shitty little apartment in Houston, up to his fucking neck in smuppet dong, and somehow he feels that that isn't how it's supposed to go. The only person he know who had a relatively normal homelife is Egderp, and if he talks to John he'll invariably have to deal with John's girlfriend, or, god forbid, John's _other_ housemate.

Dave hates talking to the spiderbitch, but he'd rather let Terezi run him over with the Winnebago and lap up his blood than talk to Karkat Vantas.

"Hey 'Rez?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you have any idea how we're going to do this?"

"Nope!" And then she's back out the window, tongue lolling in the breeze.

And then they're in Tallahassee.

Through some sort of miracle, they manage to land a deal with a realtor, and after two weeks of paperwork and assorted bullshit they're driving down Southwood Plantation Road towards their new house. They park in the driveway and walk up the path towards the little rambler.

He turns to her.

"You ready for this, Tz?"

And then he turns the key in the lock and opens the door.


	3. Southwood Plantation Road

I've got you  
You've got whatever's left of me to get  
Our conversations are like minefields  
No one's found a safe way through one yet  
I spend a lot of money  
I buy you white gold  
We raise up a little roof  
Against the cold  
On Southwood Plantation Road   
["Southwood Plantation Road", the Mountain Goats](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_Wdx7SYGLw)

It's been a month, and things are going better than he could have ever imagined.

He lays next to her in bed late at night, staring at the reflection of the moon in her raven hair. This, if he is honest with himself, is the best part of settling down. Not any of that sappy shit--though he does enjoy laying here with his girlfriend/matesprit/waifu/pimp daddy/whatever the hell you call a girl with more teeth than a great white and a noose fetish. No, the best part of homeownership is sleeping in an honest-to-god _bed_. Not some shitty cot or the sack of bricks that passes for the mattress in the Winnebago. He'd forgotten what it felt like to not have his spine raped by the steel wires of the bedframe.

As he rhapsodizes to himself on the joys of owning a proper bed, Terezi rolls over and opens her eyes.

"Hey coolkid," she giggles. "You're still awake?"

"Shit, babe, go back to sleep. I'm just writing an epic rap about mattresses in my head. I'll be done in a minute."

"Hehehe! Is that a euphamism, Mr. Strider?"

"Hold on there TZ, tone down the leering for a second. I know you want my heaving bulge, but now it's time for me to get my mad sleeps on."

He closes his eyes, and then it's morning.

The next few weeks pass in a blur of pleasant suburban monotony.

 _He mows the lawn with his shirt off while Terezi drinks strawberry kool-aid on the porch._

 _They go to the local Winn-Dixie and the cashier stares as Terezi dumps ten bottles of ketchup onto the conveyor belt._

 _They both sit on the porch and throw shit at the neighborhood children as they bike past._

And every night the two of them sit in _their_ living room on _their_ furniture in front of their very own fucking television. He'll turn the channel to Lifetime, crack open a couple cans of Pabst, and then the two of them will proceed to rip into the "original movies" until the house is filled with Terezi's cackles and even Dave can't resist busting out laughing.

They had become what he'd feared most. They had become _boring_. Except living like a normal person is nothing like he thought it would be. It isn't boring.

It's wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this paltry offering after such a long delay. This was honestly the first time I'd sat down to write since I put the first two parts of this up. Hopefully there will be more of this soon, along with more RESET.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize if this reads too much like one of Cephied_Variable's Dave/Terezi fics, but those fics are the primary reason why I ship these two.


End file.
